It has been quite surreal the past few days... being in touch with a crush from 8 years ago... We immediately clicked... Before way back when... we made small talk in our own awkward ways... Now we are full on into each other. We fit like a glove... So much passion with each other... We could NOT keep our hands of each other at all... The sex was so out of this world... Eye contact... Whispered nothings... It was what I have been waiting for... something real... But not only is it real.. and it was instant. Now the day after I'm stuck being a dumb girl wondering when we will see each other again, and if he was being for real... over analyzing everything as a bipolar does. I know I am just super emotional because it is the 12 anniversary of my mother's passing. I miss her so much. I popped a xanax and started some sad music... waiting for the boy to text me... I am sprung on this guy and it scares me... idk how to explain what happened but just out of the blue i got all scared and freaked out... and i think it is because i am super over analyzer... also emotional due to other reasons. I think I'm going back to the old ways of FREAKING OUT over nothing. lol. He told me today how awesome we are and how well we fit "glove" and how well we "clicked" and he wasn't able to hang out with me tonight because of his kids... but was looking forward to it all day and is now bummed. so idk if I am just being a girl, allowing my other emotions to affect these ones too? WTF I HATE BEING A JUMBLED FUCKING MESS! It happens though. I guess the sadness and the weird ass instant click with this guy is just messing me the FUCK UP haha I am such a fuckass! ugh