Karmic Illumination

There was a horizon beyond yesterday..
I wasn't fortunate to see it then..
Instead I let it go.. like a coward..
Placed in the cement of my selfish fears..
I wasn't aware of the regret I'd face..
The light inside was blown out by a transient..
Confidence long since dissolved..
Too afraid of tomorrow I followed..
Followed blindly into the darkness..
Left with an empty shell..
Falling deeper to hell..
With a broken heart as well..

Yesterday I was gutless..
Disgusted.. I had to build myself brick by brick..
Trying to find forgiveness inside..
The fisticuffs within boiled high..
The shell did crack.. it did crumble..
Only a stronger shell emerged from the debris..
And I realize now.. finally..
I can't fix yesterday..
I held on tight to my regret..
Because the light inside could have saved me then..
And as much as it hurt.. as hard as it was..
It was the right thing to do..
And instead.. The light is saving me now..
But it wasn't in the way I hoped..

A lesson in Karma, the light has grown dim again..
Showing me the consequences of yesterday..
I now see the true value of this illumination..
Something to be cherished, a blessing in the sun..
I'm on the other side of the fence,
Looking at my alternate reality..
Seeing a new me.. and feeling it too..
What if's aren't asked, anger is not felt..
I know how precious life is.. Fragile..
My life was saved, another lost.. but never forgotten.